[ it's as if her fear was right to be what it was. even if Uriel would have wished for it to be different, those whispering thoughts in the back of her mind: what if this death was inevitable? something that could not be stopped. even if it was to fight against fates, she would try. she's gone to such an extent for the sake of her loved ones. but...
she thinks briefly of Kim Dokja. "How do you save someone who does not wish to be saved?"
however, this is different. very, very different. Dokja, who still yearned for that happy ending with everyone else, despite trying to pay back for his sins, his debts that he claims. Chandra, however... even as her vision blurs over, blinking quickly, she tries to keep her gaze clear as she meets his own.
...he genuinely does not wish to be. there is nothing there to even hint differently otherwise. that's what hurts the most. a breath escapes her, her body held firm and tall, keeping herself steady- a steadiness that's so betrayed by the tremble in her hand. it feels like those brief moments of happiness are more fleeting than she thought. slipping through the space between her fingertips. it would be selfish to disregard his wishes. to fight against his words, the promise, to try and reach out to search for anything to try and change his mind. ... no. she knows she cannot. she likes him, loves him— if they had more time, more time for her to love him even more so, whatever they could potentially have had if they were truly stuck here for an indiscernible amount of time.
when she finally finds her voice again, it wavers with her emotions, but ]
I won't. [ both her hands grip onto his own, bringing his to rest against her cheek, as if it was an anchor for her words. ] I... I won't try.
[ ...maybe they would consider her a fool to expect anything different, or even to not expect it, a fool for having decided this was the one she showed her heart to but. her gaze grows half-lidded, not able to hold back her tears now as a few escape her, voice remaining steady as she speaks again. ]
I don't regret it. [ ... ] I don't regret.. this. Telling you how I feel. [ that, despite everything, that despite this very moment.. the truth of the matter is ] I really am glad to have met you, Chandra.
[ this is a zetsu note to say that i have had to stop typing up this tag multiple times because i was getting so absorbed/emotional, shoves my crying tissues off the table like an angry cat. 10/10 experience would do it again. ]
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she thinks briefly of Kim Dokja. "How do you save someone who does not wish to be saved?"
however, this is different. very, very different. Dokja, who still yearned for that happy ending with everyone else, despite trying to pay back for his sins, his debts that he claims. Chandra, however... even as her vision blurs over, blinking quickly, she tries to keep her gaze clear as she meets his own.
...he genuinely does not wish to be. there is nothing there to even hint differently otherwise. that's what hurts the most. a breath escapes her, her body held firm and tall, keeping herself steady- a steadiness that's so betrayed by the tremble in her hand. it feels like those brief moments of happiness are more fleeting than she thought. slipping through the space between her fingertips. it would be selfish to disregard his wishes. to fight against his words, the promise, to try and reach out to search for anything to try and change his mind. ... no. she knows she cannot. she likes him, loves him— if they had more time, more time for her to love him even more so, whatever they could potentially have had if they were truly stuck here for an indiscernible amount of time.
when she finally finds her voice again, it wavers with her emotions, but ]
I won't. [ both her hands grip onto his own, bringing his to rest against her cheek, as if it was an anchor for her words. ] I... I won't try.
[ ...maybe they would consider her a fool to expect anything different, or even to not expect it, a fool for having decided this was the one she showed her heart to but. her gaze grows half-lidded, not able to hold back her tears now as a few escape her, voice remaining steady as she speaks again. ]
I don't regret it. [ ... ] I don't regret.. this. Telling you how I feel. [ that, despite everything, that despite this very moment.. the truth of the matter is ] I really am glad to have met you, Chandra.
[ this is a zetsu note to say that i have had to stop typing up this tag multiple times because i was getting so absorbed/emotional, shoves my crying tissues off the table like an angry cat. 10/10 experience would do it again. ]