chandra lets her take his hand—lets her do what she wants, like he has so often. the closest thing to a kindness he could give her, when a part of him was always afraid to initiate anything more. it would've been kinder still to reject her as soon as she confessed her feelings, rather than lead her on in a relationship that couldn't last. still, chandra is selfish sometimes (all the time?), and he thought... well, he thought they might have more time than this.
enough time for her feelings to fade, maybe. at least enough time for them to grow complacent, for her to find other things to attach herself to, so that the hurt would be less.
but things never work out the way chandra wants them to, in the end.
...
closing his eyes for a moment, he kisses the back of her hand that holds his, before leaning back again.]
... You're an idiot.
[to the very end.
though for all that he wishes that he had simply vanished to begin with—it wasn't so bad, he thinks, to have met her.
dying via the collapse of the universe is, in a sense, an utterly impersonal way to go. (though it was always how he was going to disappear, one way or another; when a god can die for good only when their jurisdiction is destroyed, that's the same as saying their existence ends when they're no longer needed.) when it finally reached him, it was in a moment of respite from fighting a hopeless war, alone and tired. if he could have a choice in the matter, rather than in indifference, he'd like to go out either hated or loved.
... it's a surprise to find that it's the latter, after all.]
no subject
chandra lets her take his hand—lets her do what she wants, like he has so often. the closest thing to a kindness he could give her, when a part of him was always afraid to initiate anything more. it would've been kinder still to reject her as soon as she confessed her feelings, rather than lead her on in a relationship that couldn't last. still, chandra is selfish sometimes (all the time?), and he thought... well, he thought they might have more time than this.
enough time for her feelings to fade, maybe. at least enough time for them to grow complacent, for her to find other things to attach herself to, so that the hurt would be less.
but things never work out the way chandra wants them to, in the end.
...
closing his eyes for a moment, he kisses the back of her hand that holds his, before leaning back again.]
... You're an idiot.
[to the very end.
though for all that he wishes that he had simply vanished to begin with—it wasn't so bad, he thinks, to have met her.
dying via the collapse of the universe is, in a sense, an utterly impersonal way to go. (though it was always how he was going to disappear, one way or another; when a god can die for good only when their jurisdiction is destroyed, that's the same as saying their existence ends when they're no longer needed.) when it finally reached him, it was in a moment of respite from fighting a hopeless war, alone and tired. if he could have a choice in the matter, rather than in indifference, he'd like to go out either hated or loved.
... it's a surprise to find that it's the latter, after all.]