[ cool! weird! for a moment, she isn't too sure what to say, watching him. especially when her memories go back-- that on-and-off feeling of contempt, the moments she's sure she's felt it towards herself too during the adventure. which... would have come from chandra, wouldn't it have?
after a moment of hesitation, she comes over to stand by him, looking out towards the lava. trying to push away that feeling of fear bubbling in her chest. ] Unfortunate timing for us both.
The decision was to either end my own hurting or others. When I questioned it, I realized the others had referred to you, Lavi and Four.
Deities like us, we have lived for so long, seen and witnessed many... there was no point in relieving any of my own hurt. If I was to suffer, then that is brought upon by my own choosing.
[ but. ] I did not mind relieving some of everyone else's burdens though. I wasn't too sure what it would be in the end but, I can see a memory from them as fresh as if they were my own.
That was a foolish decision. [unfortunately he is still a dick because he says these things out of pragmatism rather than contempt.] Clear someone's way for them and they'll never learn to grow.
I know. [ she doesn't argue with him. because she knows it's foolish. but that's the kind of person Uriel is. ] But they may have easily overburdened themselves depending on their own decision.
[ ... ]
It wasn't a memory.
[ she will give him that. her gaze darts away, a bit fearful. a feeling Uriel doesn't express around him at all despite everything, but it has a vice grip on her. ]
[ we love insecurity in this house. of course, for Uriel, her heart drops at that, because isn't that what she's so afraid of? that thought twists in her mind, he will surely betray her now. this could be the final straw. and she's terrified of that thought. she cares too much, she doesn't that
she shakes her head, reaching for his hand but she jerks it back when she catches herself ] No!
That's not why I did it! [ what does she say? how does this stop this from escalating-- ] I don't like seeing those I love and care for suffer so I--
[he stares at her for a long while, as though trying to decide what to say. for better or for worse, while not above yelling at others, he's usually deliberate in everything he says, rather than run his mouth in a fit of emotion.
a poisonous voice whispers to him of course she thinks that. that's always been what they thought of you. indra, who thought at the beginning of the universe that chandra's designed mindset was likely doomed to fail. everyone, who came to associate surya's damn spear with being his bane. that's why even the primeval gods deemed you unworthy.
he shoves his hands into his pockets, like it'll help keep him controlled.]
[if only the silence helped, but that fear lodged in her throat is increasingly suffocating. she swallows a bit, gaze briefly flickering up to him before away again. her hands can do nothing more than come together with a tight grip.
it's inevitable. if it doesn't happen now, it'll happen later. he'll come to betray you. just as you've betrayed those before. and the others are likely close to follow in his stead. her head dips a bit once he finally replies, wings shivering as if she can shake off this fear clinging to her. ]
I decided to follow with my heart, my feelings, and for that I apologize. [ softer ] But, believe me when I say I do care about you, Chandra. Deeply.
[does he? the part of him that expects uriel to leave him first says otherwise. but he is trying to believe it, with what he knows logically of his memories.]
But I don't need your brand of kindness where you alter my mind for your own purposes.
[ there's a brief moment of relief, losing some tension when he says he knows. except she's still afraid, that he'll betray her thoughts, go against what he says. even if she would like to think he would have done so... so much sooner. ]
I understand. [ at the time, she had a distant thought, that some would say to her that emotions are more trouble than they're worth. in this case, it backfired on her in an attempt to relieve someone of it. ]
I'll refrain from it happening again. [ even though her heart aches a little. carefully, she reaches out to very, very lightly grip his sleeve with her fingers. it's so featherlight that even the smallest of nudges will brush her off. ] Stay with me?
[emotions are more trouble than they're worth, sometimes. chandra would be a hypocrite to say otherwise; it's not as though he's always chosen to live with them.
but in the end, that's a choice he has to make for himself—someone else doing it for him feels like a criticism against him, even if he understands why.]
[ it's such a difference with Uriel, who lives her life around those she loves and cares for. falling back on her emotions. but there is some backlash to it, and she of course knows this.
her hand raises from his sleeve to cup his cheek, so she can press a kiss to his other cheek and offer him a sympathetic smile. ]
You really put up with a lot of me. [ of course, she's always known this, ever since that night of the trial with her confession. that day of her execution. he's done a lot for her. ] I hope that I can properly repay you.
[ nuzzles him a little. we l*ve affection week, even if uriel is already affectionate as is. ]
I learn from my mistakes! [ but, she'll meet his gaze with a little wry smile. ] Though, if it stems from my feelings, it'll only be a little bit of trouble?
Like Zagreus, your story is not one I've heard of back in my world, despite being connected to familiar names and modifiers I recognize. [ so hades and persephone etc for zagreus. indra and agni etc for chandra. ]
So I'm sure the other members in < Eden > would think I'd completely lost it if they knew.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
WEEK 6, SATURDAY.
Uriel is here after reviving, free of all her injuries, but she's looking around for Chandra! where the boyo be now... ]
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after a moment of hesitation, she comes over to stand by him, looking out towards the lava. trying to push away that feeling of fear bubbling in her chest. ] Unfortunate timing for us both.
[ back to back cyoa... yay! ]
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Apparently. [he shrugs.] Better us than people who aren't built to handle that kind of thing, though.
[
like it wasn't fun but chandra's pretty sure he at least handled back to back cyoas better than, say, four handled a single one. rip four]
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Mmm... I think so as well, and that's precisely why I went with my decision in the end.
[ her hand raises to rub at her temple a bit, brows furrowing. ] I have a memory from Four and Lavi each.
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Do you? Why?
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Deities like us, we have lived for so long, seen and witnessed many... there was no point in relieving any of my own hurt. If I was to suffer, then that is brought upon by my own choosing.
[ but. ] I did not mind relieving some of everyone else's burdens though. I wasn't too sure what it would be in the end but, I can see a memory from them as fresh as if they were my own.
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That was a foolish decision. [unfortunately he is still a dick because he says these things out of pragmatism rather than contempt.] Clear someone's way for them and they'll never learn to grow.
[but more importantly, as he frowns—]
What did you do to me, Uriel.
[not even a question but a statement.]
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[ ... ]
It wasn't a memory.
[ she will give him that. her gaze darts away, a bit fearful. a feeling Uriel doesn't express around him at all despite everything, but it has a vice grip on her. ]
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unfortunately because aki really hit chandra with insecurity redux, the first thing that comes out of his mouth is—]
Did you think I wasn't enough to handle it?
[" 'none of you' will ever become true gods."]
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she shakes her head, reaching for his hand but she jerks it back when she catches herself ] No!
That's not why I did it! [ what does she say? how does this stop this from escalating-- ] I don't like seeing those I love and care for suffer so I--
[ a shaky breath. ] ...I'm sorry.
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a poisonous voice whispers to him of course she thinks that. that's always been what they thought of you. indra, who thought at the beginning of the universe that chandra's designed mindset was likely doomed to fail. everyone, who came to associate surya's damn spear with being his bane. that's why even the primeval gods deemed you unworthy.
he shoves his hands into his pockets, like it'll help keep him controlled.]
... It wasn't your decision to make.
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it's inevitable. if it doesn't happen now, it'll happen later. he'll come to betray you. just as you've betrayed those before. and the others are likely close to follow in his stead. her head dips a bit once he finally replies, wings shivering as if she can shake off this fear clinging to her. ]
I decided to follow with my heart, my feelings, and for that I apologize. [ softer ] But, believe me when I say I do care about you, Chandra. Deeply.
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[does he? the part of him that expects uriel to leave him first says otherwise. but he is trying to believe it, with what he knows logically of his memories.]
But I don't need your brand of kindness where you alter my mind for your own purposes.
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I understand. [ at the time, she had a distant thought, that some would say to her that emotions are more trouble than they're worth. in this case, it backfired on her in an attempt to relieve someone of it. ]
I'll refrain from it happening again. [ even though her heart aches a little. carefully, she reaches out to very, very lightly grip his sleeve with her fingers. it's so featherlight that even the smallest of nudges will brush her off. ] Stay with me?
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but in the end, that's a choice he has to make for himself—someone else doing it for him feels like a criticism against him, even if he understands why.]
... All right.
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her hand raises from his sleeve to cup his cheek, so she can press a kiss to his other cheek and offer him a sympathetic smile. ]
You really put up with a lot of me. [ of course, she's always known this, ever since that night of the trial with her confession. that day of her execution. he's done a lot for her. ] I hope that I can properly repay you.
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Yes, and you don't make it easy. [...] You don't need to repay me, though.
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I'm sure I don't. [ she of course knows she can be very Stubborn™. ] I'd say I do.
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You say that, but I'm expecting you to inevitably cause trouble again...
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I learn from my mistakes! [ but, she'll meet his gaze with a little wry smile. ] Though, if it stems from my feelings, it'll only be a little bit of trouble?
[ maybe. ]
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Your feelings are why it'll be trouble in the first place.
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For the God of Darkness to be cared for so by an Archangel... it's a bit funny for a story.
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[it's y'all's worlds that think darkness is edgy, chandra is just disliked by humans as a god because he's a dick]
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Like Zagreus, your story is not one I've heard of back in my world, despite being connected to familiar names and modifiers I recognize. [ so hades and persephone etc for zagreus. indra and agni etc for chandra. ]
So I'm sure the other members in < Eden > would think I'd completely lost it if they knew.
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